I found a note from a journal while cleaning that reminded me of an experience I’d almost forgotten. It came one night when I was especially distraught, begging God for some confirmation that He loved me. Confirmation never came during my prayers, but I dreamed about God that night.
I dreamed that I had decided I was tired of the Christian life, tired of following Jesus, and wanted nothing more to do with Him. So I decided to go find a world where God did not exist, and I could be rid of Him forever. And with the lack of details of most things that happen in dreams, BOOM, I was in another world. But the Lord had followed me somehow, and He was already waiting for me when I arrived. I was furious. I went even further away, to another world where I would be certain to never be bothered by God again. When I arrived, Jesus was not there. So I was happy to be free of attachments, and enjoyed my time there. But in just an hour or two, I began to worry. Had I really escaped Jesus for good? I began to miss Him fervently, but I was too proud to admit how much I needed Him. As I became seriously anxious and thought I had made a disastrous mistake, Jesus arrived – soaking wet. He had swum the entire length of a mighty river that separated the two worlds, to get to me.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.