Forgiveness and Texting

I didn’t write an entry this week, but I kept thinking about a text conversation I had once. Here is my side of the dialogue, plus some extra:

Forgiveness is hard, but what I’ve ultimately learned is that the love I have with God is such a good thing that it tends to push back hate. I think the best explanation about forgiveness comes from a man who was tortured for 14 years under Nazis then Stalin for refusing to denounce his Christian beliefs:

He said he was able to forgive those who tortured him because he knew that in Heaven, his guardian angel stood next to the guardian angel of the torturer… and they were both standing in the presence of God, trying desperately to get their respective man home safely.

Also, I feel responsible for the death and torture of Christ, because if I had not been a sinner, He would not have had to die for me. So if He can turn His blood-covered face toward me and say, “yes, I forgive you, and I love you, and I want you to be a part of my life forever”… well, I may not have that much love, but I should at least try. And the more I let his love in, the more it takes over, and I start to feel his pity for all the broken people of the world. I think, “of course they’re terrible to me! They’ve grown up in this messed up world, they’ve got baggage and brokenness and they don’t know the love that I have here in Christ”.

Basically I’m just too happy with Jesus, and that house is so full of love, that I don’t want it to be tainted by external forces like hate.

I realized once in prayer, that when I face Christ, seeing Him crucified, He died not only for my sins, but the sins of the whole world… That includes those sins others have done to me. My sins die there with Him, but also, the hurts that have been inflicted on me through the sins of others are nailed and dying on the cross. That gives me strength, to know those past hurts are dead.

God bless you, and have a good weekend.

Love, Morgan Grace Hart

Blue Spirit Water

Something lately has me going back in my mind to a vision of sorts I had once. It’s a little hard to describe since, like a dream, it didn’t match the constraints of ordinary senses. It had that quality where two things could coexist in one place yet visually make sense, even though you could never paint an image like that in real life.

I had recently had my first child and was sitting with him on the couch. Out of nowhere, God told me something to the effect of, “Here. Now. I want you to have an encounter with the Holy Spirit.”

“Here?” I asked. He said yes.

“Now?” I asked. He said yes.

“Okay, then,” I said.

And suddenly I had this sense that He reached into me and pulled out something like chains, which He broke, and as soon as He did this, my soul became buoyant like a diver removing weight, and rose above me. He met me in the air, His soul to mine, and embraced me while turning in a matter reminiscent of a high school slow dance. Something like clean water came from His chest in a torrent, entering mine and sweeping out, in its force, dirty water, which flowed back into Him. I had not recognized or looked for features on Him – the experience was only partly visual – but now He was definitely Jesus, and I saw the dirty water running slowly from the wounds in His side and hands. I had the thought that this probably came with some degree of pain for Him. (If there was something after that, I no longer remember, but I do remember afterwards holding my child and having the sense that we were both surrounded and protected by the Holy Spirit.)

Not all visions are about something specific or urgent in life, and this one was never tied to any specific event.
But the memory of it is recurring, and I sometimes find links to it in my prayers. I used to see a pattern when I prayed of two curving, interlinking geometrical shapes, one blue and one brown. I realized one day that the pattern was a reference to the aforementioned vision, where the brown water was removed from me by the Blue Waters of His Spirit.

Thinking on this topic, in the scriptural reference below, I reference some of the more dream-like and/or spatially confusing visions in the Bible, as food for thought. PLEASE take time to look over a few of these – they’re very interesting.

Ezekiel 1:4-9, 1:15-28, 2:1-2, 3:12-15; Acts 11:4-9; Isaiah 6:1-2; revelations 4:1-3 and 4:6.

Stalling Out

This I the shortest story I’ll ever tell on this blog.

The other day, thinking over some of the arguments I’ve heard against God, I had  one of those moments of arrogance I often have, when I think to myself that I’ll think not as a Christian but as a “smart”, worldly person. In arrogance I thought to myself, “maybe they’re right. But I don’t care if I die and I find out God isn’t real, I’ll still be glad that I spent my adult life in the faith.” It’s a true sentiment, but it came not from gratitude for the Christian life, but from a desire to weaken the laws of my own religion in exchange for sounding a little “smarter”, a little more “logical”. Well, right then and there, my car stalled out for just a moment, preventing me from merging into the lane that I immediately thereafter realized had a speeding car passing through my blind spot. Guess God is still real, and still in charge, and resistant to being put underfoot, even if just intellectually.

God bless you, and have a good weekend.

Psalm 46:1-6 God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble. And so we need not fear even if the world blows up and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam; let the mountains tremble! There is a river of joy flowing through the city of our God—the sacred home of the God above all gods. God himself is living in that city; therefore it stands unmoved despite the turmoil everywhere. He will not delay his help. The nations rant and rave in anger—but when God speaks, the earth melts in submission and kingdoms totter into ruin.
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