The Patience of Jesus Christ

Once, I had a dream that Jesus was with me, and though it’s a bit hard to explain, He was basically doing a blood transfusion with me. Blood was being drained from Him, enough to replace all the blood in my own contaminated body. He appeared to be in agony, the process slowly wrenching from Him one painful drop at a time. I became aware, for the first time, what kind of astounding patience He had. In the midst of all that pain, He wouldn’t speed it up to get it out of the way faster, or slow it down to make the pain less intense, or say, “you’re at 90%, that’s good enough, let me stop now.” Until the very last drop had been bled, at the exact rate and amount of pain that God had determined was perfect, that’s what Jesus went with. His hand at the controls, able to tap out at any time, He didn’t stop til it was completed. 

Jesus showed this dedication multiple times in His own, very real, death. When offered something to dull His pain, He refused (Matthew 27:33-34). When given an opportunity to fight and escape when the soldiers came to arrest Him, He refused (Matthew 26:50-54). When given a chance to use His proven eloquence and reasoning to talk His way out of being condemned, He refused (John 19:9-10, Mark 15:3-5). The Greek word often translated “completed” also translates as “perfected.” Stubborn as a mule and patient as a mountain, our Lord Jesus cut no corners, accepted no easier substitute, and resisted, at all costs, the temptation to speed up or dial down the suffering. Unlike the person who, at the end of a long exercise routine, promised themselves to do 10 reps but instead does only 9 because it is “close enough,” Jesus did not stop short. I would personally be contented if He had earned for me 99% of the blessings He has given me, but He would not. He would not stop until it was complete. If He was to do this thing, He would see it perfected. 

“Dear Jesus, thank You for going to the Cross for me. Thank you for letting nails be driven into Your very Body for my sake, for having the patience to wait it all out over the course of many hours, for the patience to carry that awful knowledge for many years, and for Your utter commitment to bringing absolutely everything into my life that God had dreamed for me, at whatever personal cost to Yourself. Amen”

Love Letters to God

Sometimes I write love letters to God. They’re intensely personal, so much so that I often have to stop halfway and go play Candy Crush or something… I don’t know where the exact line of how much emotion I can handle lies, but I’ve definitely hit it a few times. This time, I decided to allow others to read.

——–

Jesus, my Lord, it makes me so happy to think that someday we’ll read this together in Your Presence in Heaven. I.LOVE.YOU.SO.MUCH.

I cannot believe how accepting and uncondemning You have been to me; how You work all the things in me, good and bad, to the greater good; how You walk with me, and continuously teach me, but only when the time is right to learn it; how You cover my weaker judgement with Your love, and my sins with Your suffering… Jesus, it is crystal clear that You died for me. I cannot imagine the kind of fear and claustrophobia of having instruments of torture pierce my body, violating my space and rejecting my personhood. I see nails, Lord, but You knew them intimately.

Lord Jesus, bless everyone who reads this blog, and bless the people who find it. I don’t deserve any fame, Lord Jesus, but please, allow these words to let people who are hurting find their way to greater intimacy with YOU. Let it bring in the people who need most to hear it, when they need to hear it.

God, there’s a lot I don’t understand about life, and a lot I’m still angry about — even at You… But I think a day is coming when I’ll sit beside You with a warm blanket around us both, and gently touch the nail holes in Your hands, and not give a dang about anything that happened before You.

Amen.

————-

For those looking for more information on becoming a Christian, I recommend peacewithgod.net.

For those without access to a Bible, I recommend Biblegateway.com, a free site with multiple online translations.