Spiritual Diabetes

Dear Friends,

Lately I have been guilty of the terrible crime of wasting my time here on Earth. It’s not something I set out to do; it’s not even something I was fully aware that I was doing. But lately I’ve gotten sucked into so many pointless arguments, especially on the Internet. Somewhere in my pride I thought, “I’m a good writer, I can use my good writing to change these people,” so I got into it with several strangers I found disparaging the faith on news sites or YouTube channels I subscribe to. And how I got into it! Whole books’ worth of text written, hours spent at this. And do you know what I found? No one can win an argument with someone who truly does not believe them. It’s just like chasing a rat through a maze. If your superior reasoning leads their falsehoods into a dead end, they will turn around and shoot down another tunnel. And when they get to the end of that, they will again do an about-face and find a new tunnel to run through. In this way, these conversations can be endless, simply re-orienting every time you start to close in. I finally had to leave some discussions and block the people involved. I seethed over their burning and baseless hate, their inaccurate statistics, their across-the-board assumptions that all Christians were evil and ignorant. It was then that it hit me: I was not having an argument with other human beings. I was having an argument with Satan. Every time I rebuked one lie, he had another one waiting, and by slowly baiting me in this fashion, he was getting me to wander further and further away from home. That’s all he was doing. It didn’t matter so much who “won” the argument (if that is even possible). It mattered that, in all the time I was “fighting” for God, I was not looking at God. I was not born again through Christ’s redeeming blood to spend time attempting to out-argue people. I was brought here to love.

I realized the depth of my error when I began looking at it in the Bible. I had not first considered Jesus’ words:
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew 7:6). Definitely, I had been combatting something that had a lot more interest in tearing me apart than it did in hearing what I had to say.

My shame grew worse as I continued reading scriptures:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:15). Had I judged these people? Had I made assumptions about them before first checking myself? Yes. Yes I had.

But the ultimate blow came from this verse, which I next saw in my scripture study:
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” (1 Corinthians 13:1). How utterly humbling for a writer to read these words. I could write the prettiest words on Earth, and if they’re not soaked in the love of God’s glory, they don’t sound any better than a lot of crashing and thumping sounds.

In this same vein, the Lord recently brought to mind a memory from many years ago. I was working quietly one day when a coworker – normally a very nice man – started speaking very rudely to me. I was offended and left. Shortly thereafter, however, I saw the same coworker slumped over at a table, arguing rudely but weakly at a friend trying to get him to drink a coke. It didn’t take long for me to learn the details and put it all together in my head: He was diabetic. When his blood sugar dropped dangerously low, his personality went down with it. While normally I get easily offended and take a very long time to forgive people, it wasn’t difficult to forgive that one coworker. After all, he was sick. It wasn’t him talking, it was the illness – the drop in blood sugar. After that, I watched very carefully for any signs of rudeness from this coworker, knowing that if it happened, it was not a slight to me so much as a sign that I would need to intervene on his behalf.

When I thought over the aging memory, the Lord led me to think about something: If I could so easily forgive this man for being sick, and ignore him without internalizing his insults, why then am I so offended by the words of people whose hearts are sick? Don’t I think it might be their illness speaking for them?

God bless y’all, and have a good weekend.

Sincerely,
Morgan Hart

Scripture verses:
Mark 2:17, John 8:43-45

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Embracing the Cross

Here is a journal entry from several years ago:

9-3-13
So today when I felt the need to pray at lunchtime:
I found myself thinking back to those images in The Passion of the Christ where He first sees the cross and embraces it. And I got this really moving thought in my imagination about Jesus first seeing the cross – a strange thought, since it will be the way He’s meant to die – that there was a moment there where God seemed to touch His shoulder and say, “take heart, Son, here it is!” and draw His eyes to it in the way that loving parents bring their children on Christmas morning into the room where they have lovingly laid out their gifts for them. Was there a moment, in His heart, where despite the horror, Jesus could see that, even though it was Punishment, even though it was Death, and His Curse… it was also His Life, the life that God had trustingly given Him to spend, full of good things and bad things, but a blessing nonetheless? – That He had been lovingly equipped with the strength to endure it, lovingly connected to the people He would save? That God had, at some point in Jesus’ life, begun to lovingly cultivate a living tree somewhere, knowing that it would be The Tree? That as some unknowing woodcutter felled that same tree, God was lovingly working through his hands to fashion the cross that His Son would be crucified to? That He had carefully orchestrated this, thinking lovingly of His Son, of what His Son was capable of?
Was it not just love for us coming from the Father, but also something He did because He loved Jesus, too, giving Him the greatest honor, though it came with such misery?

This thought was repeated to me three times. At the end came a thought closely related to a C.S.Lewis quote from The Screwtape Letters: “[sic] You fear this terrible thing happening to you or that terrible thing happening to you. You fear so many things, but all you actually have to do is the one cross that God has designed for you.” And I felt the Father tell me this: that the cross you bear every day is exquisitely hand-crafted for you by the Person who loves you most in the world…and once you fully grasp this idea, you will never be terrified of anything in life.

 

Dear friends, He was not only willing to die for you – He was grateful for it. His love for His saved ones runs so deep, I have no doubt that He constantly thanks the Father for allowing all these people to have a true relationship with Him, regardless of the cost to Himself to gain this kind of access to the human heart.

God bless you, and have a good day. And P.S. – I really recommend reading the Scripture references this time, if you’re unfamiliar with these verses.

-Morgan Grace Hart

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES:

Hebrews 12:2, Isaiah 53:11, Isaiah 53 (whole chapter), John 12:23-28, Hebrews 2:10-18, Luke 9:23, 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
For those without access to a Bible, a free online copy is available in multiple languages at biblegateway.com.

Good Friday

As with many families with small children, here we are this night of Good Friday, celebrating by just doing the things we would be doing any other day. Toys are strewn about, snack leftovers are on the table, and the TV is playing in the living room. As my kids fall off to sleep, I’m now the only one awake in this dark room, the sole spectator to the end of Return of the Jedi. As I watch Darth Vader and Luke’s dramatic lightsabre duel and Vader’s ultimate turn back to good, I find something in the film’s emotions calling my mind back to Christ. I remember a time many years ago, the same year that Star Wars: Episode III came out. I remember saying to myself, “Vader was looking for immortality through evil, power, and medical treatments…and he never found it…until he gave up his life to save Luke.” Something in the idea would not let me go, and before the year was out, I knew my heart was calling out to Christ. I was sensing something I would later hear and know more clearly from the scriptures: Jesus’ words “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.” (Luke 17:33)

That idea is at the heart of salvation. It was so important to Jesus that He repeated it 5 separate times in the scriptures, with an additional paraphrase in the book of John. While I no longer remember much of Episode III (after all, it’s been over 10 years now!), I vividly remember having that thought. And I absolutely remember, in the months that followed, giving up my own life of sin, losing it, dieing, and finding Christ alive in its place.

A lot of people worry about losing the meaning of Easter in all the commercialism and informality that surrounds it now. And these are valid fears. But I never let it worry me. I have found, in my own time, that Christ is very skillful at rescuing and bringing home the hearts that are searching for Him.

God bless you all, and have a very happy Easter.

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES:
Luke 17:33, Matthew 10:29, Matthew 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, John 12:25; Luke 19:10.

For those without access to a Bible, many versions are available free online at Biblegateway.com.